Consider me spoiled rotten, but one of the perks of my job is that I get to try out pretty much any vanity-related undertaking there is: new clothes of the season, cosmetic treatments (yeah, for a guy like me, not a lot thank god), toiletries, haircuts, and one of my favorites, getting massages.
Full disclosure: Prior to working in the media industry, the thought of going to spas never crossed my mind. I always thought I never needed them—minus the occasional facial. (Even then, I got a facial because my face was full of zits.) So when I was offered a free treatment at one real mid-tier spa so I can write them up, I hesitated. But curiosity overtook me and I agreed to have it.
I got a Thai massage, which by no stretch of the imagination is a relaxing massage. In fact, I was stretched, contorted in ways I never thought could be done on the human body. Believe me, it wasn't a pleasant 90 minutes, even though the interiors were as close to relaxing as can be.
However, once I got out of the treatment, I felt better—matter of fact, I felt like a new man. I distinctly remember lasting far longer at the gym then.
Since then, I couldn't go for a long stretch of time without a massage. But, media industry being lavish, I never got to try out low-tier spas—I was always getting invited to mid- to top-tier ones, and I get to experience the whole shebang. Suffice it to say that my tastes on spas have gotten so skewed that I dare not go to one that doesn't have a private treatment room, a jacuzzi, a steam room, and a million and one choices. Yeah, I'm that spoiled.
I've received massage invites from spas so often that I never needed to pay up for it. Only when it's absolutely necessary—you know, that one extremely stressful day where you think you'll just fall apart and crumble if you try to exert yourself another iota—that I do so will I ever cough up the dough.
Trying out massages myself is one thing—like I said, I'm used to it—but writing about getting one for a male audience is another. Readers of the publication I work for equate spas to women-centered oases of girl bonding (their words, not mine), and would be caught dead in those fuzzy white robes and even fuzzier foam slippers. No amount of glowing reviews of spas will sway them to it, save for one thing: Asking them to bite the bullet and try it just once. (Of course, if I get them to try a spa out for free, then no further incentive is needed.) Nine times out of 10, they'd end up hooked. Maybe not as often as I myself go, but they at least do not mind making the trip and have a stranger's hand touch them.
For those who've stepped foot at a spa once in their lives, or are contemplating going, here are some tips to help make the experience more relaxing than stressful.
1. Book your appointment. Most spas don't mind if you just show up, but if you really want someone to be available when you head there, call them and schedule something up. If they ask you what type of treatment, say that you'll decide when you get there; or have them recommend a treatment for you. Either way, you know what to expect when you enter the spa.
2. Don't fuzz about the gender of your therapist. A lot of guys get puzzled by the therapist question. I personally have had massages done by both men and women, and it wasn't such a big deal for me. If you feel at all awkward that a dude's massaging you, then by all means get a female therapist. Simple as that. There are some instances, however, when a male therapist would be assigned to you for no other reason except he needs to lift you up. (Yeah, there's a massage that does that.) Some religions prohibit a guy being touched by someone of the same gender, so keep that in mind, as well.
3. Start de-stressing an hour before your treatment. When you book your treatment, ask if they have a steam room or a jacuzzi. If they do, consider heading to the spa an hour to 45 minutes earlier so that you can enjoy these facilities. In the same way that heading to the steam room or sauna relaxes you after a game of basketball or a workout, spending some time here prepares your body (and really, mind) for your massage.
4. Yes, you will be naked. Because the therapist will use oils while kneading you, having clothing on will just impede the process. If you're comfortable with getting nekkid, feel free to slip under the covers nude. A good spa will go out of its way to protect your modesty—only the part being massaged would be exposed. Not ready to bare all? Ask for disposable underwear. (If it's provided, ask if you have to wear it—policies vary.)
5. Shut up. With the exception of the therapist's question if the pressure's good, you should really just keep mum during the entire session. Don't feel pressured to break the silence by talking to your therapist. Should you prefer a stronger pressure in the middle of the massage, interrupt the earliest time you can.
6. You will feel something down there. A massage is all about touch. Get over it—the therapist has seen the same thing a million times over. Just breathe deeply, and it will pass.
7. Tip 20%. General rule is that you give the therapist 20 percent of the service. However, ask if gratuity is included with the price of the service. If it is, you don't have to leave a tip. (Unless, of course, you really want to.)
Questions? Leave a comment!
Image from anthropology.arizona.edu