Magic Kingdom Ride Review: The Haunted Mansion

(I apologize I didn't get to follow-up on my Disney Hollywood Studios post! I kind of lost interest. But don't worry, there will be future theme park coverages.)

The Haunted Mansion – My favorite ride in the park, in fact, I think this is my favorite ride in the entirety of Walt Disney World, just because the presentation, effects, and experience are all in sync you never tire of riding—and falling in line again and again—the Haunted Mansion.

There are two pre-show “creeps” in the Haunted Mansion, the first one in the fireplace, where you see a portrait of a middle-aged man. While hearing a creepy monologue from Paul Frees about circumstances when ghosts are around, you see the face in the portrait change from a normal human being to a creepy skeleton. This video captures the mood perfectly:

Second pre-show is the stretching room. First you see four portraits of former guests in their “corruptible, mortal states.” Paul Frees introduces himself as your host, your Ghost Host (creepy AND sets the mood awesomely.) Then something happens—the portraits seem to expand, and the room with it. Is it just your imagination? Or are there supernatural, ghostly forces to blame? Eventually, you see the fate of your Ghost Host, and you’re ushered to your Doom Buggies—the vehicles that will bring you to the world beyond that of mortal men.

Check this video out to get a feel of these 2 pre-show creeps.




Once a cast member ushers you into your own Doom Buggy—the Haunted Mansion version of the omnimover system, the magic of Disney animatronics, plus a few special effects equals an eight-minute experience.

The first part of the ride doesn’t show you ghosts or ghouls, instead, you see paintings that seem to change when lightning illuminates them. A woman’s portrait becomes Medusa, a Napoleon-inspired masterpiece transforms to his skeletal self, a ship becomes a ghostly viking ship, and another woman posing seductively curiously looks like a cat-woman (or Jaguar-woman, whichever feline is better).

Then you’re brought to the library, where ghost writers and their ghost stories chose to reside. Their heads seem to follow the direction where you’re going. And you hear the stair lift creek as if someone’s atop, but you don’t see anything.

Who knew that this was actually a rest house even for humans? But in here, you play by the Ghost host’s rules. And unfortunately, the guests haven’t had much luck with escaping this ghoulish mansion. You’ll hear clacking doors, door knobs that won’t budge, and coffins that won’t open.

Next, you come face to face with Madame Leota herself. As your Ghost Host admits, she has a remarkable head for materializing the disembodied. For a few seconds, she’ll chant and invoke spirits to join you in your journey to the world beyond. You’ll hear tambourines sound and bells ring as each of her creepy incantations are made manifest.

Your Ghost Host will leave you for a while, because he’s going to meet his friends that are no longer, well, of this world. You’ll see a vast ballroom where a huge group of ghosts gather, mingle, dance, and drink (that is, if they have stomachs that can digest them). This is the single coolest highlight of the entire ride. Who knew that clever placements of the Pepper’s Ghost effect could produce such an amazing vision?

The attic scene comes next, where you’ll find several In Memoriams of someone who curiously looks like the same woman. Ooohh...psycho killer anyone? Turns out, she’s a ghost, too. And she’s looking for her next husband-that-was.

Finally, no visit to the supernatural realm is ever complete without a journey to where the departed are put to rest: The graveyard. Interestingly enough, your presence stirred them up and have made them quite an excited bunch. Be prepared to be sang at!

Before you leave, the Ghost Host has a parting gift for you: A ghostly companion that will follow you home. And with it, ends the 10-minute awesomeness that is the Haunted Mansion.

Truthfully, it’s more fun and entertaining than it is ghastly and spooky, but kids might get freaked out since the ride happens in the dark. I recommend repeat ridings just so you can fully appreciate how well-designed, thought-out, and well-executed this ride is. It’s perfect, too, as an inspiration point for this coming Halloween. (A ghostly bride that will scare a few of the kids who go trick-or-treating?) 10/10

If you won't be in Florida anytime soon, here's a complete ride-through. Enjoy!

Disney's Hollywood Studios

First on our stop was the park formerly known as MGM Studios. (I have no idea why they dropped MGM and took on Hollywood instead.) This was supposed to compete against Universal Studios Florida in terms of having a park that has dozens of tie-ins with films and movies from their movie production outfits. It’s a rather small park, and you can accomplish everything you need to do here in a day.

Here’s the breakdown of the attractions the park has on offer. If there’s not much (or at all) that can be said about the park (not a bad thing sometimes), I’ll just jump right ahead to the next one.

Rock’n’Roller Coaster with Aerosmith – This is the first inverted roller coaster in the entire Disneyworld chain of parks, I think. This ride casts you as an Aerosmith Groupie that will follow the band on a wild nighttime ride around Sunset Boulevard—complete with neon signs and freeway speed notices (like rockstars heed speed limits anyway, heh). What I like about the preride entertainment is how well-done the scene is. It’s not boring, unlike Epcot’s Honey I Shrunk the Audience show—will expand on this when I get to Epcot. You really feel like you’re in the Groupies booth, waiting for whatever awesomeness the band has in store.

On to the ride proper. Man oh man was it fun. And I mean FUN. Once the countdown ends, your car goes from zero to 60mph in 2-something seconds (pose for the camera on the upper right hand side a second after the ride starts!) and you get plunged in total darkness for the duration of the ride. Well, save for the abovementioned neon signs and freeway notices, which momentarily illuminates the tracks, but for the most part, you’ve no clue where you’re going. I don’t know how many doughnuts and corkscrews there were (I just scream and scream it’s not even funny anymore) but I’m pretty sure I felt at least one each. Fastpass enabled, and I recommend you get one as early as you can. 9/10

Tower of Terror – I chickened out of this ride when I was a kid. Now, I was the first to fall in line (for Fastpasses: We got them at 10am and it was already for the 4pm return). Pretty straightforward ride. You ride an elevator to a condemned hotel, see the guests running around back when the hotel was still in its glorious days, then a sequence begins that you’re being transported to the 5th dimension—the Twilight Zone. After a few moments of darkness, the ride then proceeds to drop you at random intervals. The camera on the upper left side takes your photograph on the second and third drops, I think. Your cue that your photo’s being taken is if the door opens up and you see a view of the park (or the sky, whichever the case may be)—and this is also the time you fall. Tip: Don’t bother holding on something. Your butt will leave your seat several times and there’s nothing you can do about it. Thrilling ride and worth the wait. The cast members are pretty into the freaky hotel employees bit, too, which adds to the great ambience. 9/10

Beauty and Beast Live on Stage – I didn’t get the chance to catch the Broadway run of my all-time favorite Disney toon (boo for Little Mermaid), thus there was no way I’d pass this up. It’s a 20-minute condensed presentation of the musicale, and tells the tale pretty thoroughly even for those who haven’t seen the film. Great costumes and superb acting, worth the wait. Be sure to check out the show times, as there are certain days when there are only three performances. 10/10

The Great Movie Ride – A slow-moving ride that goes through unforgettable scenes from movies past, like Casablanca, Fastest Gun on the West,even Aliens. Ends with a montage of classic films and the actors and actresses that remains memorable up to this day. Some scenes are pretty dragging, but nevertheless a good in-between ride. It’s even totally indoors, to stave you from the scorching sun. 7/10

Star Tours – This one is beginning to show its age, unfortunately. I rode this simulator last 1995, and 13 years later nothing has changed. A little disappointing that it hasn’t caught up with the times. 5/10

Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular – Don’t bother getting Fastpasses for this one. The auditorium seats a ginormous amount of people. This exhibition shows audiences what goes on behind the scenes of action movies, from carefully coordinated stunts and choreographed pyrotechnics, to synchronized sound effects and the right camera angles. Very entertaining, although it could use less of the chit-chat before and after each scene. They get 10 or so volunteers from the audience, so be sure to raise your hand! 8/10

Jim Henson’s Muppet Vision 3D – An immersive show feature Kermit and the gang. Nice breather and is worth a laugh or two. 8/10

Light, Motors, Action! Extreme Stunt Show – A 30-minute show involving stunt cars and even more stunt cars. Like Indiana Jones, Light, Motors, Action gives the audience a look at what goes on in the making of a car chase sequence. You’ll find out how much different stunt cars are from regular ones, how they choreograph the braking and accelerating of each vehicle, and more. If you’re a fan of fast cars, you’ll feel the adrenaline rush here. Otherwise, it’s a highly entertaining, gets-you-at-the-edge-of-your-seat show. Come in early for seats nearest the stage, although you’ll still see well even though you’re at the farthest benches. There are usually only two performances each day. 9/10

Studio Backlot Tour – It’s a pity they severely shortened this ride to make way for Light, Motors. Now it’s merely a filler for when you’re waiting for your Fastpass return time. For the most part, it’s a tram ride where you see Disney employees at work, where costumes are made, and you see memorable props from Disney films. Still, it has its redeeming qualities: You a get a walking tour of the props and costumes used in Narnia, a nice “catastrophic” sequence in Catastrophe Canyon, and Harbor Attack where the actors are volunteers from your group. (Volunteer when a cast member asks your group! It’s gonna be fun, I promise.) 7/10

Voyage of the Little Mermaid – Crap. Only the first scene is worth watching. 5/10

Fantasmic – A nighttime show where Sorcerer Mickey must battle with a group of Disney bad guys and girls. Lots of amazing light and water effects, culminating with a parade of popular characters. Worth the wait, as the perfect ending to your day at Hollywood Studios. 10/10

Part 3 coming soon!

Kamusta naman?

Incredible how time really flies. I just realized that it’s been already a month since I left the Philippines in search of greener (kuno) pastures in the land of milk and honey. I know. One month is nothing—people who vacation in the US can sometimes take all of two months (the two months students have out of school for summer break). But for me, it’s a big thing. Because for the past few years that I’ve been here in the US, it’s as tourists in the country that I once lived in. Now, things are once again different. I’m now living in this country again. Wala lang. It’s just new to me the second time around I guess.

Truthfully, nothing super new or major eventful has happened to me for the past month. (Fine, six weeks.) When I said to my peers in the Philippines that I’m going to spend my first few months in the US vacationing and having a good time, I meant it. Of course there’s the usual things, like registering for job-search websites, having my driver’s license renewed (man, did I have huge cheeks in my new photograph—gotta watch the pizza and McDonald’s), and visiting relatives that I didn’t have the luxury of visiting the past years because of time constraints. I’ve also organized my portfolio of works for when I start peddling my wares in the Big Apple, and spent a considerable amount of money buying a business wardrobe. (Dang, I hope the industry I’m trying to get in is one where I won’t be forced to wear a suit everyday to work. Hindi ko kakayanin, kahit na may clothing allowance.) The reason why I said they’re nothing new is because they aren’t—everyone does these things at one point in their lives.

The closest I have in my calendar that you can consider eventful is a 15-hour drive with the family to Florida. There we’ll stay for a week at a nice resort and visit Disney Parks for four days. And if my cousin from the army can help us as well, we’ll stop at Sea World on the fifth day. Oh, admit it—everyone loves to go to theme parks. Sabi nga ng slogan ng Disney: “It’s the happiest place on earth.” Or something like that.

I have been thinking long and hard about my living arrangements, though. My folks are looking for a house where the family can stay here in down old Jersey (that’s still thankfully only an hour away from NYC) and I definitely will have to help with the mortgage payments. Now here’s the problem: Will I still look for a place to stay in NY once I find work? Or should I do what I did when I was still in the Philippines, living in Bulacan—uwian? Both have their own share of pros and cons. But this is a matter that I can and will only be able to seriously think through once I’m there. I’m hugely unfamiliar with how expensive NYC is exactly, so there’s no use speculating over something that I know very little about.

Anyway, that’s it for now. New post in a week.